Nothing But Ghosts
by Elizabeth Carter
Summary: Told from Amata's pov just after Trouble on the Home Front. That very moment you felt sucker-punched. it's been told many ways but not often from Amata's. One is loath to say the words the other to hear them and what comes after. ( hints of femslash)


AUTHOR: Elizabeth E. Carter

TITLE: Nothing but Ghosts

SERIES: Fall Out 3

CATEGORY: Hurt / Comfort

PAIRING: FLW / Amata (Femslash)

RATING: M for language

SPOILER ALERT: Trouble on the Home Front.

DISCLAIMER: Bethesda owns all things Fall Out, no copy write infringement intended this is for entertainment only. Thank you Bethesda for a great series. Liaran's (my LW) personality is mine

Warning: unbetaed

AN: There are so very few femLW out there and those that are pair her stalwart ghoul manservant. I'm not one for necrophilia even though I like Charon well enough for a 'minion' and Gob is okay but not for romances. I write Femslash. Eventually I will pair my Fem LW up with Sarah Lyons. But for my fannon my femLW and Amata were lovers since they were 16 and moved into a dorm room after the GOAT. Oh and I don't recall how I did it but I got Overseer in the GOAT 2x though most of the time I got Vault Loyalty Enforcer but I always custom made my class.

FW3~FW3~ FW3~FW3~ FW3~FW3~ FW3~FW3

After all that had been said and done, after all she had done came the words—the hated words one was loath to speak and the other loath to hear them.

"I …I…am sorry but now…now I have to ask you to leave the Vault. You … you can't come back I'm sorry." Amata was completely unable to look at the young woman she loved, who she had pledged her heart to. Her eyes stung with tears unshed. when at last she looked up the pain in Liaran's eyes shot through Amata, under the pain was the look of utter astonishment of betrayal. Her dearest friend's blue eyes glittered with tears stubbornly held back.

"I saved the Vault and now you're kicking me out?" Liaran gasped incredulously.

"It's not like that!" 'Mata pleaded her voice cracking. "It's just that many people still blame you and your father for what happened that night. Everything is so unstable right now, so out of balance."

'R just stared, looking as if she had been sucker punched.

"I have to think for the betterment of the Vault. Please…Liaran…I'm so sorry." The tears fell now, burning down 'Mata's caramel cheeks, trickling into the corners of her mouth. She was a mourner at her own funeral.

The redhead stepped forward her next words were for Amata's ears alone. "Before I was your Secret lover, I understood why that was. We had to hide. Your father would never have allowed it to continue even if my father supported us.. Now it seems I'm your whore-discarded once your use of me is done.

"Take comfort 'Mata at the very least you _still _have your father. My father was a hero; he died a hero, a visionary. Yours is nothing but brutal thug who had Jonas murdered, tied to kill me, had you beaten by that psychopath Mack and terrorized everyone here. He's nothing but a fucking raider." She leaned in close and hissed. "So much so you HAD to send out a distress call for me to come back to you. To save you! "I did it without hesitation. I owed you for saving my life that night. I came because I love you and I would do anything to save you from your father.

"We both _know_ what kind of sick bastard he is. God he watched you get a full physical every single time until you became eighteen. You want to know something? Your daddy dearest had a fucking erection. Did you know that? He enjoyed your assault. How many times did I save you from him wanting to get close to you? Hum?

"I know." Amata was shammed faced. "I called him on it. I told him he was sick. I was terrified what he was going to let his man do to me. I didn't want to believe he was capable of it. You stopped it...you were always there guarding me. 'R, I -still love..."

"Don't. Don't let those words pass your lips _Overseer" _Liaran spat. "Not in the same breath that now shuns me, exiles me. And don't you dare, don't you dare tell me it's _not_ like that!" her lips curled into a wolf's snarl. "I can't even argue your orders because I understand why. My father is dead. I watched him die. Now I have to carry on his work, my mother's work. We are daughters of their legacy aren't we?" Liaran turned on her heel, her voice now cold. "Dogmeat! Come boy there is nothing but ghosts here, we're leavening. This Vault is dead just like all the others we've seen."

The scruffy hound whined as he looked from one woman to the other, then after a heartbeat lopped after his master.

Amata watched broken hearted, her own tears falling down her eyes; she didn't bother to wipe them away. Liaran was right about all of it. She had sent out a desperate plea for help and received it eagerly and quickly. Liaran came rushing to her rescue as she had always done when they were growing up. Liaran was always there, always. She always made things better. But instead of warmth, Amata had to put away the childhood love and companionship and become…become the Overseer and had to think for the betterment of the vault. Inside the young woman hated herself. She would never forget the look on Liaran's face as her heart had been shattered. Liaran was right, Amata knew it she had used her friend as one would a whore, get what you want: wham-bam thank you ma'am, don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out.

FW3~FW3~ FW3~FW3~ FW3~FW3~ FW3~FW3

A few days later the patrol party returned carrying a small box. Inside was a the folded alliterated utility jumpsuit Amata had give as a gift to Liaran just after she had secured the Vault - before the betrayal. Also inside the crate was a leather jacket with the Tunnel Snakes patch sown on the back of it, a red baseball bat and glove, as well as another 101 jumpsuit and an issue of Grunkok the barbarian issue thirteen with all the pages still intact, and a neatly pressed party hat.

"Was there a note?"

"No Overseer, I'm sorry. It's from _her_… isn't it?" The question came from Mr Brotch the former teacher of the Vault. He now acted as the aid and adviser to the Overseer. It was one of the many new changes Amata had installed when she took over. Like America before the war the Vault now had a system of checks and balances—vaguely. A Chief of Staff. The Council comprised of a voice, a representative from each department: security, science/ medicine, education, maintenance, and janitorial, and one voice to 'oversee' it all. It was uplifting to all who had been crushed under Alphonse's regime

"We're nothing but ghosts to her now. Painful memories." Amata ran her hands over the ten year old party hat. Remembering the surprise birthday party she and Doc James had thrown for Liaran all those years ago. "What's the news out there?" she asked so very softly the aging man had to strain to hear the words. They both knew what the true question that was being asked.

"You already know how she disabled the nuke in Megatown, helped that kid Bryan something from Grayditch get away from the fire ants and found him new home with his aunt in Rivet City."

Of these things Liaran had told them herself on the first night she had come for them on the behest of Amata's plea for help. The Members of the Resistance wanted stories of the outside. The names of these settlements meant nothing to the Vault residents; they may as well as be half way across the world. Still they were exciting and new stories

In private Liaran told Amata as they lay together again that first night of the other things she had done. Found the Declaration of Independence, secured the Lincoln Memorial for runaway slaves, helped some old lady named Agatha find the last surviving Stradivarius violin probably in existence in this hemisphere. She's not only part of Riley's Rangers after she rescued them all, but apparently she's become a Regulator.

It had been the night before Liaran confronted Alphonse Almodovar and made him surrender. Of all things she had reasoned with him claiming it had been all quite civilized. That night, Amata and Liaran had made love—it had been for final time. It had been a glorious night. They had savored it as long as they could. But it was over all too soon. By morning Liara slipped off, past all Alphonse's guards, freed Brotch and faced the Overseer. Then it came to Amata's turn to rule in her father's stead. Her first order was to betray Liaran's love and exile her.

For a time there was no news of Liaran, Susie Mack surprised everyone by getting the old radio in the cafeteria to operate properly as well as the smaller personal ones within the dorms. Amata made a point of listening to it anytime she could if only to hear anything of the woman she still loved.

Thanks to Susie the radios now were able to pick up GNR and ever since then Amata and Brotch and much to everyone's astonishment Butch listened to that Three Dog Fellow for any news on the Lone Wanders—the plucky kid form Vault 101. Several of the Vault dwellers held long lasting disdain for the young woman despite all the great deeds she had accomplished out in the Wasteland.

"She's done a few more things." Brotch continued. "Amazing things really. Sort of fitting considering her G.O.A.T"

"I remember, Vault Loyalty Enforcer. We laughed over it. She said it couldn't be right since it was phased out years ago. I don't think she put much thought into her answers to be honest."

Brotch smiled "I shifted the answers a little. Her first result would have gotten your father's wrath on her a lot sooner, claiming she cheated somehow and copied your answers. She was supposed to be on supervisoral lines, meaning if things had turned out differently and James had not left, she could have been the next Overseer," the last words were softly spoken.

"So we both decided to give her a job that didn't exist any more and one that was the least likely to gain old Alphonse's scorn or ridicule. I even offered to place her in Medical. Be a doc like her ol'man. She has a natural gift for it. She said she wasn't daddy's little girl despite the fact she was a damn fine medic."

"That's why you held her over in class. I always wondered. She only said she had to ask you a couple of questions over her placement. Nothing special. She never said she got Overseer." Amata uttered in astonishment.

"We agreed no one should know. I gave her a blank test for Alphonse to look over and asked what she wanted she told me:

'_Ah come on Mr. Brotch just match something that's uniquely me. Something that will get old __Alphonse's shorts in a twist but not enough to really piss him off or mock me into oblivion so no Pipboy programmer crap just because I understand how electronics work. And I don't want to be daddy's little shadow either. No Medicine. No Science"_

"_But you have a talent for healing. You're gifted. You excel in those areas."_

'_Yeah so what if I picked something up from my parents? That's not who I want to be. I do that science stuff because its fun to see how things work. If Dad or Jonas needs a hand in the clinic I'll help out or if Stanly needs me to help him jimmy-rig something I'll do it but give me something different.'_

"So I gave her Vault Loyalty Enforcer. It mixed up her knack with small guns, the silver tongue of hers and a modicum of managerial power. It wasn't any where near her real talents."

Amata smiled "Which was all that medical and science stuff and side arms. A good thing because sports just wasn't her. She could run though. Only thing that got her through little league. I used to go down with her to that little shooting range her Dad and Jonas made for her when she turned ten. She got really good with that BB gun. She even helped me prefect my aim. Of course she wasn't any good at the sports stuff. Mostly because I think the other kids were so hard on her that and she rather have her nose in a book or in a microscope or tinker with some gadget than hitting a baseball or throwing one."

Because exorcise was necessary to stay fit children were required to take up a team sport like little league. It was also theorized that such a game build up character, sportsmanship and fare-play. Not that those lessons sunk in with the would-be Tunnel Snakes or the other kids who shunned Liaran because they were terrified of Butch and his hooligan followers. Most of the kids thought she was strange that she'd would read anything she could get her hands on: old magazines, books, even medical journals and of course comics. She was the classic nerd. She also hung out with the grown-ups more then kids her own age, as if she related better to the adults then her own generation save of course for Amata.

Amata sighed deeply "After she told me her results I thought being a Vault Loyalty Enforcer would bore her to tears. there were times I think it did. Gomez tired hard to mentor her in the ways of the law but my dad cut her out all the time. He was always saying because the job didn't exist anymore she didn't have a real place in security. He said maintenance always had openings. It was either working for Stanly or go into medicine with her dad. She chose the labs."

"I remember it's what got your father twitchy towards her. I know she wasn't happy about it, but it was safer. I know James liked having her around, showing her how heal and use that mind of hers to solve scientific riddles. I think he saw a part of his wife looking back at him in her eyes. He was grooming her to take over for him. Just like your old man was doing with you."

"Maybe but James wasn't creepy about it like my father was. There were times when he looked at me and it wasn't my mother in my eyes he was seeing, it was her body. I was so mortified when he was present during all my physicals. He never touched me but…I saw how he wanted to. Doc James put a stop to it thank god before it went that far." Amata shuddered, her face an unhealthy shade of green. "As soon as I was of age to move out I did. He despised it when Liaran and I shared a room. But it was his own rules that proclaimed after the G.O.A.T all teenagers are to find a same sex roommate and share dorm room together and begin their apprenticeships.

"I laughed so hard when Liaran challenged him despite the fact he denied her duties as the VLE that as Overseer he had to obey his own rules or they were not rules at all. She even sited Vault-Tec guiltiness that covered impeaching an Overseer and appointing a new one if they weren't loyal to the Vault. I think it was the first time she got him back down." Amata's face became grim once more. "Ironic really now that I think about it. It's exactly what she did, isn't it?"

Brotch had no answers for her. All he could do was soften the blow. "I think out there in the Wastelands being an _Enforcer _or rather a Regulator. The job that suits her. Now she enforces law on the evil...bringing them to justice. She's hunted and killed three Mutie Behemoths, slain scores of raiders and slavers and super mutants. She even shut down someplace called Paradise Falls and set the slaves free.

"There are stories from the caravaners we trade with that she went place called the Pitt, and freed the slaves there as well. She executed the Overlord and helped the freed slaves secure a cure for the illness that stalked them and ironically their keepers. It seems Liaran has indeed become an Enforcer after all." The former teacher said with no small measure of pride.

'_Just like she did here_….' The Overseer's words were unspoken.

Brotch seemed to hear the words regardless. "Yes… just like here."

"I heard Three Dog call her the 'Last Best Hope for Humanity'." Amata said softly.

"That's the word."

Amata looked down. "She's … she's better off out there. Isn't she?" she said trying to convince herself. A hand touched the past parting gift Amata had given to her friend and yes once Secret lover-who she still loved deeply. "I … I think she hunts as she does to cut out the pain. People say she doesn't make close ties to anyone save for that scruffy dog of hers. I did that to her, when I …when I cast her out. I …wounded her more deeply than any enemy ever could. They can only kill her once, but me … I do it every time she looks at the horizon to the Vault. I do it every time she thinks of… what we had of our youth."

"That's in only part of it Overseer. She lost everything; her father… her home, you … she like you never knew her mother. Frankly I'm surprised she hasn't snapped under the strain and become the Scourge of the Wastelands instead of its _Last Best Hope_. Amata, you had to do what you did for the betterment of everyone in the Vault or we would never know stability. She knew that, it hurt but she knew it was the right thing."

"That doesn't make me feel any better for it." Her brown eyes fell once more on the remnants of Liaran's life in the Vault. Under the cloths and sporting equipment there were little mementos of the Secret love the two had shared. An origami swan Amata had made and given to Liaran. Once unfolded it revealed a poem the sixteen year old Amata wrote after they had first made love. There were pictures of the two of them in different stages of their life as children and teens. There were little bits of paper with more love-letters. They were small enough that when Liaran had made a run from her room that fateful night she must have been able to stuff them in the cargo pockets in the jumpsuit. For they were precious to her. A sentiment Amata had shared for she had all of her former lover's poems, little notes and Secret letters. As for the other items would have been crammed into a small kit bag and slung over the shoulder that she had with her when she ran from the Vault.

'_There are only ghosts here …Before, I was your Secret lover, now I'm your whore-discarded once your use of me is done.' _ Those words would haunt the Overseer far into her old age. It was a penance Amata willingly paid. The look in those blue eyes forever burned into her memory. '_I am so sorry … my love. I had no choice... to keep the peace ... I had to do it. There was no other choice. I hope one day you will be happy again. You will laugh once more. Find love...again. I never stopped loving you 'R. I never will."_


End file.
